Parenting in a World of Conflicting Advice: Trusting Science Without Losing Your Intuition

Have you ever felt like “the research” is out to get you? That every time you finally find something that works for your baby, someone comes along with a study or TikTok warning you against it?

You're not alone. And honestly? I get it. As a postpartum doula, I see this all the time—and it’s literally my job to help families navigate this exact moment.

Here's what I want you to know: Science is a Guide—Not a Dictator. Sometimes we treat science like it’s set in stone. But real science is not a list of eternal truths—it’s a method. It’s the ongoing process of asking questions, testing ideas, and collecting evidence. When new information comes in, science shifts to reflect it.

My role isn’t to tell parents what to do. My opinion doesn’t matter. I support families with evidence-based information. I do think people should trust science but always with the understanding that only you know what truly works for your baby and your home, making safe decisions. 

Take sleep for example. Safe sleep guidelines vary around the world, and that’s one of the clearest examples of how parenting practices are deeply shaped by culture, space, and lifestyle—not just science alone.

• In the United States, the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend that babies always sleep on their backs, on a firm and flat surface like a crib or bassinet. Room-sharing without bed-sharing is encouraged and all soft items like blankets, pillows, toys, and crib bumpers should be kept out of the sleep space. Pacifiers are considered protective, and it’s advised that babies don’t sleep routinely in swings, inclined sleepers, or car seats. These guidelines are focused on reducing the risk of SIDS.

• Meanwhile, in Japan, babies often sleep on futons on the floor, and it’s common for families to share the same sleeping space. Minimal bedding is used, and co-sleeping happens frequently. Despite the high rate of bed-sharing, Japan consistently reports some of the lowest SIDS rates in the world, possibly due to the sleeping surface and cultural attention to simplicity and safety.

• In Brazil, bed-sharing is widely practiced across different social groups, sometimes by choice and often by necessity. The idea of keeping babies close is deeply rooted, and elders often pass down advice like avoiding outdoor exposure in the late afternoon. While some healthcare providers echo American-style guidelines, many families follow cultural instincts and rely on proximity for comfort and ease.

• In the UK, the National Health Service offers recommendations very similar to those in the U.S.—back sleeping on a firm surface in a crib, with room-sharing for the first six months. However, they also provide safe co-sleeping guidelines instead of treating it as something to be avoided at all costs. There’s a strong emphasis on risk reduction: if families are going to share a bed, they’re educated on how to do it as safely as possible.

• In many Scandinavian countries like Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Denmark, it’s common for babies to nap outdoors, even in the cold winter months. Parents will bundle their babies warmly in wool or fleece layers, with hats, mittens, and insulated sleeping bags (often called “baby nests”), then place them in a stroller or pram outdoors—sometimes even in temperatures as low as -10°C (14°F). The pram is kept in a sheltered spot, like a balcony or backyard, and the baby naps peacefully in the fresh air. Bed-sharing is also common, especially in the early months, and the focus is more on making bed-sharing safe rather than avoiding it altogether. Breastfeeding and keeping babies close at night are viewed as protective factors. 

  
  

And let’s be real: the majority isn’t everyone, bottles aren’t for everyone, pacifiers aren’t for everyone, co-sleeping isn’t for everyone, sound machines, daily poops, baby-wearing, purees—not for everyone. We’re raising people, not following a recipe.

Watch Your Baby, Not Just Your Feed

There’s so much information out there now, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. A 30-second video can make us feel like we need to rethink everything. But often, what our babies need most is our presence—not more Googling. Watch your baby. Learn their rhythm. Use science as a foundation. And when in doubt, seek professionals who explain the “why,” not the ones chasing clicks.

If you feel like you don’t agree with your doctor, it’s important to remember that no doctor is perfect. But good doctors will always appreciate a parent who is well-informed and engaged. By collaborating, asking questions, and continuing to learn, you and your doctor can work together to make the best decisions for your child’s health and safety. Not all pediatricians or family doctors specialize in the latest infant care trends or research. While they may be excellent general practitioners, they might not always have the time or resources to stay up-to-date with every new guideline or best practice. Some providers, especially those who have been practicing for decades, may continue to recommend what they were taught in school—even if newer research suggests something different. It's hard for anyone to abandon long-held practices, especially when those practices have "worked" for generations of parents. 

This can be frustrating for parents who are trying to make informed decisions based on the latest information, only to encounter conflicting advice from healthcare professionals. The challenge, then, is finding a balance—trusting the expertise of your doctor while also staying informed and ensuring you're keeping up with the most current research.

Because at the end of the day, you are the one living this life.You’re the one who sees the smiles, the fussiness, the growth. You’re the one putting in the love and effort.

And if you’re here—questioning, caring, reflecting—then I promise, your baby is so lucky to have you!